AfterLoss

Feature · Funeral Wishes

What you would have wanted, written down

Recording funeral wishes ahead of time spares your family from guessing. Funeral Wishes is the AfterLoss space to set them down once, in as much or as little detail as feels right.

At a glance

Twenty-five questions, your answers. From burial or cremation to the music and the wake, recorded once and ready for whoever arranges the funeral.

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The situation

When you die, your family will guess. They will guess whether you wanted to be cremated or buried, whether you would have liked Amazing Grace or 'My Way', whether you would have wanted donations to charity or flowers. They will second-guess each other. And in the gap between what you actually wanted and what they imagine you wanted, somebody usually ends up upset. Writing it down ahead of time spares them that. Our guide on arranging a funeral explains the decisions they would otherwise have to make on your behalf.

What AfterLoss gives you

Funeral Wishes is twenty-five short questions across six sections: what matters to you, body care, the service, disposition, the people involved, and what happens afterwards. You answer the ones that matter to you and leave the rest blank. Each question has a sentence of guidance explaining what it covers and what kinds of answer make sense. Your answers stay in the case and are visible to whoever takes over arranging the funeral. Our guide on recording funeral wishes walks through the same questions in long form, with examples. If you have a prepaid funeral plan, the wishes complement it: the plan covers the arrangements you have paid for, the wishes cover everything else.

The Funeral Wishes view inside an AfterLoss case, showing the six sections of wishes from What matters through to After and arrangements.
The Funeral Wishes view inside an AfterLoss case

Twenty-five questions, your answers

Record what you want

Twenty-five short questions covering body care, the service, disposition, the people involved and what happens afterwards. Concrete prompts (burial or cremation, religious or non-religious, music, readings, pallbearers, flowers, ashes) with a sentence of guidance on each. Together, the answers serve as a written expression of wishes for your family to follow. If costs matter to your family, our guide on funeral costs in the UK sets out typical figures, and burial rights in the UK covers what you can ask for if a churchyard or local cemetery is part of what you have in mind. Answer what you have a view on; leave the rest for your family to decide.

Hand it to whoever arranges things

When the case transitions to bereavement mode, every wish you have recorded is visible to your nominated successor and to the funeral director, if they are on the case. Twelve of the wishes also appear as notes against the matching steps in the funeral-arrangements section, so the family sees each one at the point a decision needs to be made. For other wishes that fall outside the funeral itself (charitable bequests, personal messages), the wiki has guidance on writing a separate letter of wishes. If you would prefer something less common, our guide on water cremation in the UK covers the newer option some families now ask about.

How it fits

Funeral Wishes sits inside Planning Mode, alongside the rest of an AfterLoss case. The wishes carry forward to bereavement mode automatically; whoever ends up arranging the funeral sees them in context, next to the communications scripts, the arranging-a-funeral guide and (where they apply) the faith-specific funeral traditions the wiki covers.

Start recording what matters to you

Answer one question now, leave the rest for later. Nothing is required.

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